Spice Up Your Love Story
As I stumble half-blind and entirely drunk down the dark hallway of my NaNoWriMo preparation, I've discovered that, though my book may concern zombies, it is at its heart a love story. Naturally, I'm appalled with myself. Since men and women first put pen to paper (or a rock dipped in ink to the tanned hide of a sabertooth tiger, as it were) they've been writing about love and why it's all sunshine and tap-dancing monkeys and, at this point, there's not a whole lot of new territory left to discover. Love stories are, in a word, boring.
And yet, here we are. Writing love stories like it was the latest thing.
So, to that end, I've compiled a helpful list of twists, turns, shocks and sparks that we can use to fancify our dull, drab love stories to an acceptable degree. They won't make the fact that we're being terribly unoriginal go away, but they will at least keep it dancing fast enough so the audience doesn't notice. Or something. Anyway...
Tips For Enlivening Your Love Story
-The built-in parachute for any love story is, of course, the sex scene. Plot starting to drag? Things getting all gooshy and sappy? Then it might be time for your two main characters to discover just how flexible they truly are. Don't be afraid to write like you're sending a letter to Penthouse; the dirtier, the better. Remember, we're in the year 2006 here. You have to go out of your way to be shocking and that's a detour you're going to want to take. The more explicit you are, the more people will want to read it. Grab some anatomy textbooks and leave your morals outside.
-Try changing one of your character's genders. That automatically up's the interest quotient at least three notches. Look at Brokeback Mountain. Gay cowboys? Genius. Think about other non-gay jobs where gay men can surprisingly find love. Gay football players, say, or perhaps gay construction workers. Gay plumbers? Gay long-distance truckers? You get the idea. You can do the same thing with lesbians, but make sure they’re hot lesbians. Otherwise, no one will care. Make no mention of the Indigo Girls.
-Add copious amounts of drugs and/or alcohol to the mix. Take boring stories and throwing in bacchanalian quantities of illicit substances pretty much made Bret Easton Ellis’s career and the same can work for you. Main character is a clerk in a book shop? Nope, she’s a book shop clerk with a four-times-a-day heroin problem. Does your main character love a girl who’s really into rock n’ roll? No! He loves a girl who’s really into crystal meth.
-Gore. This is the route I’m taking. Why have a girl metaphorically rip a guy’s heart out when she can literally rip his heart out?
See, your story is already more interesting. These are just a few ideas that you can use to spice things the fuck up and make your audience take notice. Oh, and feel free to put in some aliens and mutants. Those always help.
And yet, here we are. Writing love stories like it was the latest thing.
So, to that end, I've compiled a helpful list of twists, turns, shocks and sparks that we can use to fancify our dull, drab love stories to an acceptable degree. They won't make the fact that we're being terribly unoriginal go away, but they will at least keep it dancing fast enough so the audience doesn't notice. Or something. Anyway...
Tips For Enlivening Your Love Story
-The built-in parachute for any love story is, of course, the sex scene. Plot starting to drag? Things getting all gooshy and sappy? Then it might be time for your two main characters to discover just how flexible they truly are. Don't be afraid to write like you're sending a letter to Penthouse; the dirtier, the better. Remember, we're in the year 2006 here. You have to go out of your way to be shocking and that's a detour you're going to want to take. The more explicit you are, the more people will want to read it. Grab some anatomy textbooks and leave your morals outside.
-Try changing one of your character's genders. That automatically up's the interest quotient at least three notches. Look at Brokeback Mountain. Gay cowboys? Genius. Think about other non-gay jobs where gay men can surprisingly find love. Gay football players, say, or perhaps gay construction workers. Gay plumbers? Gay long-distance truckers? You get the idea. You can do the same thing with lesbians, but make sure they’re hot lesbians. Otherwise, no one will care. Make no mention of the Indigo Girls.
-Add copious amounts of drugs and/or alcohol to the mix. Take boring stories and throwing in bacchanalian quantities of illicit substances pretty much made Bret Easton Ellis’s career and the same can work for you. Main character is a clerk in a book shop? Nope, she’s a book shop clerk with a four-times-a-day heroin problem. Does your main character love a girl who’s really into rock n’ roll? No! He loves a girl who’s really into crystal meth.
-Gore. This is the route I’m taking. Why have a girl metaphorically rip a guy’s heart out when she can literally rip his heart out?
See, your story is already more interesting. These are just a few ideas that you can use to spice things the fuck up and make your audience take notice. Oh, and feel free to put in some aliens and mutants. Those always help.
